Alan Coren has delivered his last punchline.
Alan Coren liked to tell the story of how he had been invited to lunch at Buckingham Palace. He was late, and was stopped by a policeman for speeding. “You’re not going to believe this, officer,” he said, “but I am going to lunch with the Queen.”
The policeman glowered. “What are you, sir, some kind of humorist?”
“Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing in the corners of our rooms.”
“Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they’ve told you what you think it is you want to hear.”
“The word ’souvenir’ has, of course, slightly extended itself in meaning until it now denotes almost anything either breakable or useless; but even today, 90 per cent of the items covered by the word are forgettable objects in which cigarettes can be left to go stale.”
