One of the most bizarre benefits of having a googlemail account is that all my e-mail spam is in Hebrew.
(Click the thumbnail pictures to enlarge them, please) (Fnarr Fnarr)
I have no idea why this might be, and if anybody can explain it to me, I’d be delighted to hear the reason for it.
At first sight, the immediate benefit is that I don’t get any goy spam. On one hand this is a good thing, because I haven’t a clue as to what any of it might mean, so I can happily follow Google’s advice to “Delete Forever” the weekly accumulation of spam cruft. On the other hand though, I feel I might be missing out on something.
I want to know if this Jewish variety is more alluring than the regular flavour of spam. I mean it’s lovely to start most normal days knowing that you are only two clicks away from a college degree, you’ve also won fabulous riches in a lottery that you have no recollection of having entered, and there are several deposed dictators just gasping to share lurid amounts of money with you and their widows / executors as well as magically swelling your mighty organ with many inches of newfound manhood that will have the ladies sobbing and gasping with desire. But what’s on offer from the Hebrew speaking spammers? Are they offering even more (circumcised?) inches to my manhood than the regular deal? Even richer Nigerian widows? Can anyone tell me?
More seriously, there’s one rather fundamental question that just will not go away: What are Hebrew speakers doing associating themselves with something so screamingly non-kosher as SPAM??? - (Warning: Unwarranted music and Surrealism ahead.)
The top of the googlemail spam page has a keyword related link, of course, and it’s always related to SPAM, the famous canned quasi meat. Today’s suggestion was for “SPAM SKILLET CASSEROLE”
Just feast your eyes on this recipe:-
I love the casual way the writer casually calculates the preparation time as 0:00! Very precise, that!
Which aspect of spam cheers you up and makes you feel good, rather than irritated? Would it be less annoying in Balinese?
And when was the last time you ate the famous tinned, er, meat? Scout camp? Guide Camp? Last weekend, recovering from a hangover?
Bon appetit, already!
3 Comments
I laughed at this one - good post M!
@The Textual Healer: Glad you like it, N! It’s curious that 99.9% of my ‘normal’ e-mail spam is in English, with a very rare German entry, but never in Spanish, Chinese, French, or other world majority languages, etc. And never in Hebrew except for the googlemail. Do you get mainly Dutch spam?
I get no Dutch spam at all. Don’t even know the Dutch for spam. But recently lots of spam from
visa huntinglonely Olgas looking for the love of their lives. i guess spammers go for major world languages. Apparently there are peak seasons for spam - when new college students get an internet connection in September and are looking to subsidise their way through school. No kosher spam yet!